Snap Shots

We had my wonderful and talented friend, Erin snap Dean's first photo shoot.

We were completely blown away by everything she did.

We felt like models because stepped out of her friend shoes and into her professional shoes.

The great thing about her is that since Scott knows her and likes her he was able to stay calm and happy and play with her and her assistant.

She started off taking pictures of him. 

I can't begin to tell you how much I love these pics.

Each one is a face that I see everyday.

Each one is a face that I love.

And now, thanks to Erin, each one is a face that I will be able to remember.

Our last family pictures he was nervous for and it showed across his face.

These pictures show his true sweet and funny faces.

Priceless!

These are the family pictures we got.

Isn't Scott just the sweetest big brother.

Him and Dean are adorable with one another.

And I love these shots of Dean and me.

They captured the peace and joy I feel with my new baby.

And look at all these beautiful and perfect shots of my baby Dean.

I know my baby is cute beyond compare but to actually have pictures of him that do him justice would be  impossible I thought.

Every time I see these pictures I am floored.

These are the type of pictures that I see and think that's that type I want and never quite get.

These are the pictures I will look at for the rest of my life and thank God for the perfect and clear memory they provide.

Thank you Erin.

You have an amazing gift and we feel so blessed that you shared it with us.

Oh, Dean was 6 weeks old when these shots were taken.

Ladies Night

Saturday night was the new Ladies Conference. It used to be that there was one Relief Society Conference and one Young Womens Conference a year. This was the first year that not only were the two organizations combined but they are now open to the primary girls 8 years old and up. It was pretty exciting. Melissa and I wanted to make sure we went to hear all that went on.  Dean and I went up to Ogden for the evening and Melissa brought Lexie.  It was a great conference that was definately inspired.  I couldn't help but feel a ping of jealousy when I saw all those cute mom's sitting there with their daughters.  But I was reminded that if I don't get to go with a daughter of my own I wont be alone.  After wards we went to Chili's for some appetizers and dessert.  It was so nice to get out.  Dean and Lexi slept pretty much the whole time, except for a feeding, so it felt nice to get out and be a women and not just a mom. Melissa and I could probably laugh all night but seeing that we are both new mommies again we lasted till about 9:30.  Oh well, I'll take what I can get.  Thanks Melissa, for a great night out.

Dean's Two Months

Getting to two months means there's another doctors appointment.

The more I meet with the doctor the more I love him.

It's nice chatting about Dean's progress and hearing how good he's doing.

And I enjoy finding out about what's to come.

I've forgotten so much since going through this with Scott.

The best part about the appointment is getting his stats.

Dean

weight..........12.12lbs..........60%

height..........23.3"..........60%

head..........15.8"..........75%

Scott

weight..........12.88lbs..........73%

height..........23.75"..........75%

head..........16.5"..........90%

Dean was quite a bit bigger then Scott was at two weeks but Scott grew a ton at this stage.

He was such a chunk.

Dean, also a chunk, is slowing down.

But Dean is looking more and more like Scott.

They have their differences for sure but I think that they are more similar in appearance then different now.

Dean is hitting his mile stones which is always nice to confirm.

He still loves to sleep during the day and is sleeping longer and longer at night.

I don't think it'll be long till he's sleeping through the night which I'm so excited about.

He wakes up more during the day.

We love to stare at each other and talk. 

The more I talk to him the more he talks to me and smiles at me.

Those are becoming my favorite things to see and hear.

He loves laying on his back but not as much on his tummy.

Dean is such a mamma's boy and I love it.

He doesn't seem to respond to Mark the same way Scott did though.

Mark always had the magic touch with Scott now it's my turn.

Dean's favorite place to be is laying vertical with his head resting on my chest.

I try to spend at least one of his naps a day with him in my arms, I just love holding him.

Scott is still loving being a big brother but I think he's getting bugged that someone else's needs are being placed before his.

I think he misses having mommy all to himself too.

Luckily he, like Mark and I, still love Dean despite the changes and wouldn't trade him for anything.

Blessed

Look at these two boys of mine.

I can't help but think how blessed I am.

They make me smile everyday.

They make me laugh everyday.

I look at my life and all the stupid things I've ever done come to mind.

I see them and I don't care.

Who cares about past mistakes when I have these two perfect boys.

I can't believe that I made them.

I can't believe that God gave them to me.

I just pray that I can do right by them.

CPA

Mark is finally and officially a CPA!

He started his exams in May last year.

He had to retake the second test once but the other three he past the first time.

The third test he did right before I had the baby and the last one he took February 28th.

He has been studying a lot for these last two.

We are so proud of him.

I kinda felt helpless.

I really wanted to do something for him but I was so busy with the baby and Scott that I didn't even make him meals.

But I had made a few freezer meals before I had the baby and we got A LOT of meals from friends and family.

We were both very taken care of .

Now that Mark is done the thing that we are most looking forward to is being lazy together again.

Sitting around and doing nothing but hanging out with Scott and holding Dean.

I guess another result to be happy about is the promotion that he'll get at work.

That'll be kinda nice.

Way to go babe.

All your hard work has paid off.

I am hoping the days of difficult tests are over.

Memories

I am doing a lot of siting around lately while feeding baby brother.

I've played every assortment of sudoku on my phone.

I've read a few books.

Heck, I even got to update this blog.

I've also done a lot of thinking.

Memories are my most favorite thoughts and sometimes my most depressing thoughts.

I think about how hard Scott was at nursing; that was a lot of sitting around!

I think about how Mark and I used to spend the first two years of our marriage in our bed.

Before you get the wrong idea we just sat around and watched movies on Netflix on our computer.

I was nursing Scott so much there was just no point in moving.

I think about how depressed I was when I realized that I wasn't my own person anymore.
I had a hard time swallowing that someone relied on me completely and that I had to put their needs above my own.
I went through some post pardon depression after Scott.
He was a good baby but I wasn't prepared for how drastic life would change.
I think about how Scott grew.
He never stopped growing.
He was an average size for an infant but he quickly passed the majority of other babies in size, especially in the head.
I think about how Mark loved becoming a father.
How he dotted on Scott.
I remember multiple times having a hard time getting Scott to fall back to sleep and being at my wits end.
But there was Mark, ever patient and calm Mark.
He would take Scott and calm him down and within seconds he was fast asleep again.
I remember how adorable Scott was as a baby.
My mom would say how she used to take her babies to the park and feel sorry for the other moms who's babies weren't as cute as hers.
I remember feeling the same way, how I thought Scott was the picture perfect image of how a baby should look.
I remember stressing out about going out to stores and all the preparation it would take.
I would have to feed Scotty, then as quickly as I could get showered and dressing and ready and get Scott bathed and halfway ready then feed him again, then as quickly as I could get him dressed and go to the store for groceries.
He would often be crying the whole way home because I made him go past his normal feeding time.
Someone told me that I could just feed him while I was out so I wouldn't have to rush so much but that kid took and hour and half to feed and I wasn't about to spend that much time sitting in a public bathroom or in the car.
He eventually went faster and by the time I stopped breast feeding him (about 7 months) he only took about 20 minutes.
I remember how I loved kissing those chubby cheeks.
How I could be so incredibly tired but my lips would just ache to kiss those cheeks again.
It's amazing isn't it?!
That babies are so much work.
They test our limits in so many ways and try our patience to the point of breaking and yet...
...and yet they bring so much joy.
So much love grows from that hard work and patience.
That's why we wanted another.
That's why we had our baby Dean.
Scott may have been hard (all babies are) but he was worth it.
Dean, you bring with you a few challenges, but you need to know that more then that you bring so much joy.
We love you so much and I'm so excited to gain so many more memories with you in them.