Ready

There is something I wish to share that has been a long time coming.  It has taken a long time to get ready for this, probably about a year and a half.  It has been a hard time becoming ready for this but now that we are it has made all the difference.  Being ready means that I am not shocked, sad, confused, angry, or bothered.  Being ready means that I can look forward to our future, it means that we are optimistic, confident, excited, hopeful and better prepared for the challenges that this realization brings.
We have just found out that Scott has aspergers.
Over the past year and a half Scott's development has changed from that of other children.  It was hard for us to see that Scott might have issues.  We had so many questions.  Many of those questions we didn't want to know the answers to for fear of what the answers might be.  I have become a bit of a crazy person with all the worry weighing me down.  We have been so blessed with all the help and assistance we have received from family and friends and teachers and helpers.  It is so true that when life feels the hardest God sends his special angels to look out for us and in this case those special angels were many times people we already knew.  In other cases they were people that came out of no where to help a stranger and her sweet little boy cope.  We have been guided in so many ways by the Spirit of the Lord.  It has been such a stressful year and a half and I often felt like I was walking in the dark, but now, looking back I can see more clearly just how much the Lord was there and guiding me to the answers I needed. I was often angry at life and I feel so guilty remembering that.  I am amazed that the Lord and so many of you friends stayed with me while being so negative and quick to anger, often overly sensitive.  Mark has proven to be even more amazing then he was when I married him.  I would have been lost without him.  He is such an AMAZING husband and father.  Love you Babe.
For us, it took about a year and a half to get ready for answers.  We didn't know we were ready but the Lord found a way to give us the nudge we needed through a great doctor.  Scott's three year check up came and we got a new doctor for him since we moved.  After telling the doctor all that we were doing to get Scott help and telling him we weren't ready for a diagnosis of any sort he found a way to get me to commit to go see a specialist.  I didn't realize what I had done till I told Mark about it after he came home from work.  It took about three months to get in but the day of his appointment finally came around yesterday.  My mom came with me.  I needed support and I needed her to better understand her grandson so that I could have the support of my mommy.  I also wanted a second set of ears so that she could help me recall all the information that was given.  The appointment went awesome.  Scott had a few fits but did an amazing job.  I am also amazed at myself for not having a hard time.  Maybe it was my mom being there, or Scott being so good with everything, or maybe it was simply being ready.  It was a great experience seeing how smart Scott is and learning about all that he is capable of.  It wasn't depressing or hard, it was comforting and hopeful.  I know that we are going to have more hard days ahead, I know that it isn't going to be easy.  But one thing that was said at his appointment that is going to be our motto from here on out is, "the sky's the limit."  He is so smart and his issues may present some extra challenges but he can learn as much as we teach him, the sky's the limit.  This excites me.  I never thought I would feel so excited about the challenges of life but I am now.
Thanks again to all those who have been there for us.  We have been so blessed.