Potty Training

 I got this crazy feeling like I should potty train Scott.

CRAZY!!!!

I don't know what I was thinking because it was seriously the hardest thing I've done thus far in my life.

I have never practiced so much patience or self restraint before in my life.

This kid is stubborn and can be so hard to teach.

This momma just finds it easier to give up a lot of the time.

But one thing I kept hearing was once you start you can't stop.

I was over whelmed at best.

We started on Monday after school.

I don't know why, I just all the sudden decided now was as good a time as any.

So we brought the candy in the bathroom so we could get him his reward instantly.

It was hard to stay positive while dealing with pee.

I did pretty well till Wednesday.

Scott had school and he needed to go since he had missed so much and I knew he needed to learn to go pee at school at some point.

My problem was that we had been pumping him full of liquid for the past two days to get him to go more often but I didn't want to do that before school.

So I didn't and he ended up having an accident.

He also hadn't pooped since Sunday and that was really stressing me out.

I was a mess but I sent him off and went shopping.

Shopping for more treats and dinosaur underwear.

I also bought some poop incentives.

After he came home from school I felt like we were starting all over again.

But by Thursday I think he was getting the hang of it and by Thursday night he pooped in the potty for the first time.

Look at this proud boy.

He got big brachiosaurus for going poop.

He called his grandma and best friend Jaeley to tell them that he is a big boy.

It really only took him a week to learn how to go pee in the potty and I was glad because I was a mess.

It took him longer to trust the toilet with his poop but after a lot of accidents and staring up at more dinosaur toys for a long time he has finally gotten past his trust issues.

Scott is finally potty trained!

Now we are just trying to get him to pull up his own pants.

Never thought that would be the longest lesson of this whole thing, but I'll take it over pee on the ground any day.

Idaho Croud

I spent the last week in Idaho watching my nieces and nephews while their mom and dad were on a cruise.

Little bit jealous of them right now.

I'm not going to lye, they were a lot of work.

A lot more work then I'm used to with Scott.

Dealing with one child is hard enough for me right now but jumping into the role of having 5 almost did me in.

But I got to have so much fun hanging out with the kids.

As weird as it sounds helping the kids with homework was the funnest part.

Maybe it was because they were older then Scott and Brooke and it was the closest to an adult conversation I got all week (talking on the phone with Mark each night isn't the same).

Maybe it was me rekindling my old desire to teach.

I don't know what it was but we had a lot of laughs.

I look forward when Scott will be so goofy.

These kids also amazed me with how smart they are.

I hated spelling and I really don't want Scott to struggle with that.

Well I also don't want these kids to struggle either so when I found out they had a spelling test on Friday I decided they were going to ace it.

So I got their list and we looked at it together and I started thinking all the ways I could help them remember the words.

But before that I thought I would give them a practice test at home.

They aced the practice test.

How am I supposed to help kids that already know their stuff?

The kids also play so well with each other.

That's always a good thing in families.

It means that I hardly ever had to play bad cop and break arguments but it also means that they have good relationships with each other.

Brooke probably had the hardest time with her mom and dad being gone.

She is used to having a lot of one on one time since she's the youngest and the kids are gone at school but with Scott being there and Scott being pretty high maintenance she got the shaft sometimes.

I feel bad about that.

But she loves Scotty and she wanted so much to play with him and Scott did pretty well but he's still not at Brooke's level and I bet that was hard for her too.

But Brooke and I got to play and eat out more then the other kids did (Scott would have if he ever ate any outside food). 

Anne

It is my wonderful sister Annie's Birthday.

One of the most Amazing things about Anne is her ability to love everyone.

She is honestly the best example, next to Christ, of unconditional love.

Something that goes hand in hand with this is her ability to forgive.

If you wrong her in any way she will forgive you no matter what.

She doesn't need time, she wont punish you, she just lets it go.

She is also incredibly generous.

If you need help she will find a way to help you.

To the point that she can buy something and come home to show you, if you want it she will either give it to you or go back to the store and buy you one just like it.

All these things make it easy for people to take advantage of her.

And there has been plenty of people who have, when I was younger I know I did a few times.

But she's forgiven me and she's forgiven all those others who have too even though most of those people haven't asked for forgiveness.

I am so blessed to have a sister like Anne.

She teaches me so much about Christ.

I love you Annie.

Happy Birthday!

Josh

Josh is my oldest brother.

He is probably the smartest guy I know.

Seriously, he's a genius.

Another awesome thing about him, which I think goes hand in hand is he has a great imagination.

He and his life long best friend are in the process of writing a book together.

Look out for it, I know it will be amazing.

He's always got a listening ear for for whatever you want to talk about.

I love my brother Josh and am so blessed to have such a great big brother.

I always wanted to have my first child to be a boy, and I even wanted to name him Joshua because of what an amazing brother he is.

I love you Josh!

Patty Cake

I love baking.

Just because it's so sweet and tastes so yummy.

I love to use holidays as an excuse.

I thought I would let Scott join in the fun.

We started and Scott started singing "Patty Cake."

Adorable can hardly describe it.

Gosh!

This kid makes me so happy.

Kindred Spirits

Sedra and I grew up together in the same ward in Alpine.

She was one grade higher then me in school though so we were never super close.

When we went off to colleges we went our separate ways.

But come facebook we both friended each other.

It wasn't long before we realized our sons were very similar.

We found ourselves constantly writing on each others posts, "My son too."

We said it with the good and fun things but also with the concerning things.

Soon we were writing novels to each other and decided to exchange phone numbers.

We started texting, asking each other what we were doing to handle situations our boys were going through.

Her boy wasn't talking on time, he had a speech therapist, she got fed up with the same things about the system that I did.

But there were other things we had in common.

Wondering if we created the issues our boys were going through.

Wondering why the normal ways of parenting weren't working for us.

Wondering if this was simply a delay or if it was something else.

Well for a long time we planned to get together and let our boys meet.

After a lot of sicknesses and something came ups we finally got together at Carl's Jr.

Our boys both having aspergers means that they didn't really acknowledge one another much.

We would like to say that we went for the boys but really we went for one another.

Us moms need one another.

We need to know that we aren't alone.

 Although I don't always understand what my friends are going through with their three year olds, I know that Sedra and I understand one another.

One of Them Days

My life is full of highs and lows.

Today I feel low.

We had another appointment for Scott.

I was looking forward to it because we were going to discuss with the doctor what we do now that he has a diagnosis.

It was a fine visit but I didn't leave feeling as optimistic as before.

Today I left feeling incredibly over whelmed.

This is how I'm feeling put into another situation.

Let's say you find out that you have cancer.

What are some of the thoughts or feelings you may have?

You probably feel scared.

You probably start wondering what this means for you.

Your life might flash before your eyes.

You may go through some denial.

Your future life may flash before your eyes.

Every dream of the future may feel shaken.

You talk to the doctor about your options and you say you're going to fight this thing.

You may feel like you have a responsibility to others to be strong, after all, you don't want them stressing the way you are.

And some days you feel good.

Some days you are strong and you know that you will be strong.

But other days that's not the case.

You may feel bitter those days.

You may feel angry.

You may think, "I never asked for this."

You may wonder why.

You may get bugged every time you hear somebody complain about their healthy body.

There are so many things that people wonder and worry about.

I don't know if what I described is right, I've never had cancer or any health issues for that matter.

But I have felt many of those emotions I've described.

I've had my whole life flash before my eyes wondering what did I do to cause this?

I've questioned all my dreams for the future.

I've been bugged hearing people complain about things that I only dream would happen to me.

I've thought, "I never asked for this, so why is it happening?"

I'm having one of those bitter days right now.

I'm wondering if I'll ever "beat" this, because I don't think anyone can truly "beat"this.

Scott has aspergers.

He will always have aspergers.

He will always have something that will make him "not normal" and we will always feel like we need to fix it.

I know, I know, "no ones normal" and "if he didn't have this then there would just be something else to worry about."

I know, I've heard it all before, not just by you but by myself.

I just feel so over whelmed with all that we are going to need to do to get Scott to do things that come naturally to everyone else.

It's like trying to teach someone how to beat their own heart.

How do you describe how to do that?

I don't know, you just do it.

Scott thinks differently then others.

He thinks differently from me.

I have to try to figure out how he thinks so I can figure out how to teach him to do something that I was never taught how to do because I never had to think about it, I just did it.

Hard.

I know I've already written a novel but I had to share this amazing sweet story.

While dwelling on all the above I started crying.

I'm a bit of a baby like that.

Well Scott was playing and I didn't think he'd notice.

For those who watch Parenthood and know Max they know that typically children with aspergers don't understand emotion, they are very logical and need facts to back things up and to make sense.

Well Scott did notice me.

He came right up to me, looked right in my eyes (again, not at all typical) and we had the following conversation.

"It's OK mom, it's OK."

"I'm OK Scott."

"Are you sad mom?"

"Yes, mom's sad."

"What's wrong Mom? What's wrong?"

"Mom's had a hard day."

He leaned over and kissed my cheek.

Scott doesn't give kisses, he lets you kiss him but he doesn't ever give them, this time he puckered up and kissed my cheek.

He then wiped my tears away.

He then got up and said,

"You're scared mom, it's OK."

He then ran away and I sat there shocked thinking this doesn't solve any of my problems but how do I stay sad after that?

He came back to me maybe a minute later and sat on my lap facing me.

He asked, 

"Are you happy now mom?

Be happy."

I told him he made me happy and we sang if you're happy and you know it.

My life is full of highs and lows.

Today I feel low.

Tomorrow I don't know how I'll feel.

But I do know that I will get back up to my high.

I will get excited for the future and life wont feel like it does now.

Like the poets say, it's always darkest before the dawn.